Censorship Sucks

It’s no surprise that big businesses and corporations run this country, and if SOPA and PIPA pass then it will be even more obvious as websites that they don’t agree with can be taken down, with its assets frozen and the domain withheld all under a dubious claim of copyright infringement that nobody will have to prove.

As a creator I am hip to wanting to protect copyrights, but neither of these bills really make any progressive strides towards doing that. Saying I am against bills that aim to help protect copyrights is only taking half of what is going on and claiming it as fact. It would be like saying that because you don’t like the idea of banning automobiles means you’re in favor drunk driving.

Piracy and copyright theft are real problems. But they are real problems that need real answers, not half-assed, crossed fingers behind the back kind of pabulum. Solving a problem does not need to entail a total disregard for the law by doing things like flipping the bird to due process. Solving a problem does not involve forcing people to circumvent blocked secure servers which will open them up to a world of digital vulnerabilities. Solving a problem involves listening to EXPERTS and third-party specialists.

Congress is back in session in less than a week and a vote on these atrocities will take place soon thereafter. You can sit and do nothing, thinking that the latest Zynga game will be there waiting for you (until someone in some corporate boardroom tires of Facebook and says that they’re providing links to copyrighted material and needs to be shut down) or you can take five minutes to contact your Representative and let them know, in no uncertain terms, that a vote for SOPA or PIPA means one less vote for THEM in the next election.

GET MORE INFORMATION HERE

Quite Possibly the Greatest Video Ever

http://imboden.org/httpdocs/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Morgan Freeman as Count Dracula on The Electric Company.flv

Best Buy Update

Well, look what just showed up in my email Inbox:

Date: Tue, 3 Jan 2012 14:39:42 -0600
From: Best Buy Consumer Relations <cr@bestbuy.com>
To: <mike@imboden.org>
Subject: re: Advertising Campaign

Dear Mike-

Thank you for sharing your reaction to our TV advertising campaign, “Game on, Santa”.

We apologize if you were offended by the content of our ads. This certainly was not our intent. We will be sure to pass your comments on to our marketing department and advertising agency.

Sincerely,

Best Buy Consumer Relations

Nice to know they actually read it, considering I believe I said TWICE that I wasn’t offended, just sad that they’d chose such a mean-spirited ad campaign.
Color me not surprised, though.  Anyway, at least some closure.
Or… should I press on and move up the chain?

If the Atari 2600 Was Honest

I had an Atari 2600 and I loved it.  The thing I didn’t love was buying a game with my hard earned money (read: saved up lunch money) only to find out that the game was NOTHING like the box. If wish this guy had been around and working for Atari back in the day.  He found a bunch of Atari games in their boxes at a yard sale and with a little Photoshop magic, made the game titles a little more accurate, based on the art.

http://mightygodking.com/fun-from-yesterday-static.htm

Here’s an example:

One game that nags me to this day was “Slot Racers”. I bought that game only for the box art. This is the box, with – while not a more accurate title – at least a much funnier one.

Here’s what that fucker looked like:

Anyway, go check out this guy’s re-worked game boxes. I promise you’ll laugh at some of them.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas from imboden.org

Beware the KRAMPUS!

I posted a painting of Krampus a year or two ago here, but I don’t recall if I added any real explanation of what it was. The short version is that he is the most awesome frickin’ beast you’ve probably never heard of. The long version, according to Wikipedia (the bastion of truth and facts that it is), is this:

Krampus is a mythical creature recognized in Alpine countries. According to legend, Krampus accompanies Saint Nicholas during the Christmas season, warning and punishing bad children, in contrast to St. Nicholas, who gives gifts to good children. When the Krampus finds a particularly naughty child, it stuffs the child in its sack and carries the frightened child away to its lair, presumably to devour for its Christmas dinner.

So, basically, he is the “Anti Claus” and that makes him kinda cool and scary.
Think about it for a second – instead of threatening kids with not getting toys because some stalker in a red fur suit knows when they’ve been bad or good, if we just told kids that this was coming to eat them if they were bad, things would be a lot easier:

The Krampus!

The Magic of Santa

Still have yet to hear from Best Buy. I’d like to think it’s because they were overwhelmed with hate mail over their wonderful commercials. Anyway, someone at work sent this out today and I feel like it perfectly captures the essence of what Best Buy is shitting on. Read on for one of the best stories you’ll read today:

I remember my first Christmas adventure with Grandma. I was just a kid. I remember tearing across town on my bike to visit her on the day my big sister dropped the bomb: “There is no Santa Claus,” she jeered, “Even dummies know that!”

My Grandma was not the gushy kind, never had been. I fled to her that day because I knew she would be straight with me. I knew Grandma always told the truth, and I knew that the truth always went down a whole lot easier when swallowed with one of her “world-famous” cinnamon buns. I knew they were world-famous, because Grandma said so. It had to be true.

Grandma was home, and the buns were still warm. Between bites, I told her everything. She was ready for me. “No Santa Claus?” she snorted, “Ridiculous! Don’t believe it. That rumor has been going around for years, and it makes me mad, plain mad!! Now, put on your coat, and let’s go.”

“Go? Go where, Grandma?” I asked. I hadn’t even finished my second world-famous cinnamon bun. “Where” turned out to be Kerby’s General Store, the one store in town that had a little bit of just about everything. As we walked through its doors, Grandma handed me ten dollars. That was a bundle in those days. “Take this money,” she said, “and buy something for someone who needs it. I’ll wait for you in the car.” Then she turned and walked out of Kerby’s.

I was only eight years old. I’d often gone shopping with my mother, but never had I shopped for anything all by myself. The store seemed big and crowded, full of people scrambling to finish their Christmas shopping.

For a few moments I just stood there, confused, clutching that ten-dollar bill, wondering what to buy, and who on earth to buy it for. I thought of everybody I knew: my family, my friends, my neighbors, the kids at school, the people who went to my church.

I was just about thought out, when I suddenly thought of Bobby Decker. He was a kid with bad breath and messy hair, and he sat right behind me in Mrs. Pollock’s grade-two class. Bobby Decker didn’t have a coat.

I knew that because he never went out to recess during the winter. His mother always wrote a note, telling the teacher that he had a cough, but all we kids knew that Bobby Decker didn’t have a cough; he didn’t have a good coat. I fingered the ten-dollar bill with growing excitement. I would buy Bobby Decker a coat!

I settled on a red corduroy one that had a hood to it. It looked real warm, and he would like that.

“Is this a Christmas present for someone?” the lady behind the counter asked kindly, as I laid my ten dollars down. “Yes, ma’am,” I replied shyly. “It’s for Bobby.”

The nice lady smiled at me, as I told her about how Bobby really needed a good winter coat. I didn’t get any change, but she put the coat in a bag, smiled again, and wished me a Merry Christmas.

That evening, Grandma helped me wrap the coat (a little tag fell out of the coat, and Grandma tucked it in her Bible) in Christmas paper and ribbons and wrote, “To Bobby, From Santa Claus” on it. Grandma said that Santa always insisted on secrecy. Then she drove me over to Bobby Decker’s house, explaining as we went that I was now and forever officially, one of Santa’s helpers.

Grandma parked down the street from Bobby’s house, and she and I crept noiselessly and hid in the bushes by his front walk. Then Grandma gave me a nudge. “All right, Santa Claus,” she whispered, “get going.”

I took a deep breath, dashed for his front door, threw the present down on his step, pounded his door and flew back to the safety of the bushes and Grandma. Together we waited breathlessly in the darkness for the front door to open. Finally it did, and there stood Bobby.

Fifty years haven’t dimmed the thrill of those moments spent shivering, beside my Grandma, in Bobby Decker’s bushes. That night, I realized that those awful rumors about Santa Claus were just what Grandma said they were – ridiculous. Santa was alive and well, and we were on his team.

I still have the Bible, with the coat tag tucked inside: $19.95.

And that, Best Buy, is what Santa is about and why you don’t treat him like shit. He’s far more magical than any Android tablet, game console or Blu Ray boxed set will ever be.

Dear Best Buy…

If you watch any network TV I’m sure you’ve seen Best Buy’s commercials. In them there’s Santa Claus preparing to leave gifts or go down a chimney when he is confronted by the homeowner who proceeds to make him look like an ass because THEY already bought all sorts of things from Best Buy, thus making Santa irrelevant. And they do it like a bully or an asshole (kicking a plastic Santa off of the roof, etc.). At first I kind of just brushed this off but the more I saw these commercials, the more they bugged me. So I wrote Best Buy an email:

Dear Best Buy -

Pardon me if this isn’t the best address to direct this to, but it’s
the closest thing I could find on your website.

That said, I just wanted to let you know how disappointed I am in your
current advertising campaign in which you have people being total
jerks to Santa Claus. Normally I am the type of person who doesn’t
get bothered by this kind of thing and think being all “PC” is a joke
- but these ads are just mean. Sure, one could get into the whole
theological debate over the meaning of Christmas and the true “reason
for the season”, but when you take it at its most base level,
Christmas is the one time of year (sadly, usually the only one) when
people are more forgiving and nice to one another. It’s a “magical”
time, if you will. And over the years Santa Claus has come to embody
not just the whole “gift giving” aspect of the holidays, but of the
magic itself. By having Best Buy customers treat Santa like the mess
he inevitable has on the bottom of his boots after his world-wide
journey (eight reindeer – nine if it’s cloudy), it’s like you’re
spitting on the magic of the holidays.

Obviously it’s too late this year to do anything, but maybe next year
you can think twice before thumbing your nose at the now iconic symbol
of Christmas. I think a more positive angle would have been to have
the customers getting all of their gadgets and electronics from Best
Buy thus removing the burden from Santa. They could give Santa a
little wink and a nod, like “Hey, buddy – I’ve got this covered. You
can take a little break”. This would send the same message – you can
buy all this stuff from Best Buy – without the snark and snot.

I hope I don’t sound like I’m offended by this, because I’m not – just
disappointed. Disappointed that a store I regularly shop at and have
spent thousands of dollars at would take such a mean and snide
approach to the holidays. Also, a little confused. At a time when Joe
Public is fed up with corporate “fat cats”, it would seem that all big
businesses should be trying to “speak” to the common man – not give
them the one-finger salute while chortling “Ho Ho Ho, we’re better
than Santa!”

Remember, it’s not “Yes, Virginia – there is a Best Buy”. Heck, if
Virginia were to see these commercials she’d probably cry and wonder
why you were being so mean to Santa Claus.

Thanks for listening. And again, sorry if this wasn’t the best email
address to direct this to. If not, it would be greatly appreciated if
this could be forwarded to the right people.

Sincerely,

Mike Imboden
A loyal Best Buy customer and believer in Santa Claus

Happy Thanksgiving!

It’s the time of year of when we express our thanks to those people and things we hold dear. Here’s just a few things I would like to publicly express thanks for:

Toaster ovens, paperclips, the donkey wheel, black velvet paintings, Piano Cat, dung beetles, the ampersand, two-ply toilet paper, plywood, wooden nickels, Action Jackson, cover bands, rubber bands, rubber gloves, The Gorgerous Ladies of Wrestling, TV preachers, the incredible edible egg, Colorforms, Shrinky Dinks, masking tape, shopping carts, dust bunnies, sporks, the Kardashians, turtles, catnip, Betamax, Wonder Pets, Wonderbug, ice, twist ties, Winnebago, Wiinie Cooper, the fiddle, Ann B. Davis, 404 errors, bacon, floppy disks, Pabst, marbles, parakeets, crab grass, septic mounds, leg warmers, WD 40, Babar, meat thermometers, the moon, pennies, verbs, paper cups, stir fry, the suplex, midget wrestling, hiking boots, paper AND plastic, barcodes, tube socks, tube tops, inner tubes, staples, AM radio, hot dog vendors, your mom, cock fights, seltzer water, Applebees, the Bionic Woman, hula hoops, glue, Burning Man, Chad Brock, canned air, polecats, ghosts, urns, wicker baskets, magma, speedboats, rubber bullets, the Log Lady, dental floss, casette tapes, ladders, meat tenderizers and go karts.

The Return of Movie Time!

It’s been far too long since I’ve run one of these.
Enjoy!!
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