imboden.org

And the winner of the Creepiest Santa in all the land….
..ta-da! Mr. Dirty Man-Child Santa!

I’m not sure what exactly it is that creeps me out about this nutty-ass looking old dude. Is it the child-like way he seems to be posing, as if to get down to the little girl’s level? Or is the semi-pedophillic way he seems to be seconds away from snatching her?
Maybe it’s both.
Whatever it is, the little girl senses it as well. She’s being a trooper, though, and sticking it out. But you can tell that she’s one “Uncle Santa has a candy cane in his pants pocket for you” away from going ape-shit hysterical on his ass.
And what the fuck is with this outfit? Is it casual fucking Friday at the North Pole or something?
Anyway, congrats you creepy bastard. You’re imboden.org’s CREEPY SANTA for 2008!

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Holy hopping shit!
This guy isn’t so much creepy as just plain scary.
He looks like he’d be more at home with a bloody hatchet in his in hand rather than a crying child at his feet.

“Hi, Mister Santy Cwaus! For Cwistmas I’d wike a new DBD of the Wiggles!”
“Tell ya what, you little fucker; You can watch as I ram yer mom in her chimney and make her wiggle. Howzat?”
“…”
“Ah, get outta here ya shit stain.”

Geez… shouldn’t, I dunno, “Jovial” be a personality trait that the hiring agency should have a box to check on their Santa applications?

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Wow.

I think this dude was Creepy Santa #1′s drinking buddy. What I want to know is who the hell is in charge of hiring all of these rent-a-Santas? Their background checks must be pretty fuckin’ lax to let shit like this slip through the cracks. I mean, LOOK at this cat! Even his beard looks like it just got done emptying a bottle of Wild Turkey in the parking lot before taking a piss behind the dumpster.

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Alright, I’m not sure what the fuck is happening here.

I’m guessing Santa is a cyborg or straight-up robot. Notice the wide open eyes that don’t look like they blink – that’s the tell-tale sign. Plus, kids have a sense for who is and is NOT a robot which would explain the extreme horror they are experiencing.

It’s like… Uncanny Valley Santa or something.

Fuckin’ thing’s giving ME the creeps as I sit here and write this!

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Well, what have we here?
Santa looks like he’s sizing that poor kid up for a midnight snack.
Of course, given the way that the kid looks, he probably just dropped a deuce on Santa’s lap and Santa knows it.
Nonetheless, Mr. Kringle is creepy as shit with that “I’m mentally undressing this fine, young child” look on his face.
Bad Creepy Santa!

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I’m not sure what the fuck this is.
Is it a fake, plastic Santa?
Is it someone wearing a really fucked up Santa mask?
Whatever the hell, that little girl certainly wants to get as far away from this devil-Santa as humanly possible.

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Because I’m in such a fuckin’ festive mood, I’ve decided to share some of the creepiest Santa pictures I could find.
Here’s Creepy Santa #1

Santa looks drunk as shit, yeah?  He probably smells of day old vomit and Captain Morgan’s. And if so, apparently this is something that the young girl on the left has come to accept as normal, given the smile on her face. That, or she’s amused by her brother wetting his pants.
Little does she know it wasn’t her brother who pissed.

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