So, being a temp I don’t truly fit in here.  Maybe it’s because the actual employees realize I’ll be gone one morning.  Or, maybe it’s because they’re all women (with a couple of gay men thrown in for good measure).  Whatever the reason, I’m lucky to get a "Hello smile" when walking past most of them.  As a result of this, I don’t know many names and can only tell them apart by physical features or mannerisms.  And truth be told, this is fine with me.  I don’t plan on being here for years and I’m not here to build my social circle – I’m purely here for the money.  Anyway, not knowing their names means I have to identify them somehow in my own mind.  There’s some belief that naming something gives one power over it so maybe that is why I have taken to given most of them names in my own mind.  The starting roster is:
 
Marbles – she talks like she’s got a mouthful of marbles.  There’s probably some physical defect that explains this, but that’s never stopped me before. I’ll make fun of anyone, equal opportunity and all that.
 
Hair-Biter – she’s always got her hair in one hand and that hand is shoved into her own mouth.  It’s weird.  She’s almost always twirling or eating her own hair.
 
Turtle – Short gal, broad shoulders, chunky and no neck.  That should explain her name.
 
Skeletor – Bony face, always with her teeth bared like a dog.  Or a skeleton.
 
Pudge – One of the (only) cuter ones.  She’s rocking a few pounds of baby fat right on the gut.  Too much drinking  maybe, because at 30+ years old you’ve kinda lost the baby fat a while ago.
 
Shrek – Her head is huge and she’s kind of built like Shrek.  She’s not green, nor is she as funny, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
 
Droopy – She resembles a female version of Droopy the Dog.  Hang dog look and jowls to match.  At 50+ it’s only gonna get worse.
 
Ice Queen – One of the ones that doesn’t give a courtesy smile.  In fact, she rarely smiles.  I’ve even tried being witty and charming and nothing works.  And if you don’t respond to my wit and charm, you are an Ice Queen.
 
Milton – This looks a lot like Milton from "Office Space".  He doesn’t covet a stapler that I am aware of, but if he did I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
 
It’s Pat! – He/She that looks a lot like Pat from Saturday Night Live. One of two obvious lesbians who apparently think being gay means playing up the sterotype.
 
Nasty Boy – The other lesbian.  This one looks like one of pro-wrestling’s Nasty Boys (Suggs for those who care) only with shorter hair.
 
Disdainful Man – Some mid-manager or something.  Every time he walks by my supervisor’s cubicle and she’s not in there, an extreme look of disdain crosses his face.  I think he hates women in power.
 
That’s most of them, but there are a few more.  Maybe one of these days I’ll get around to naming the rest of everyone in my area.  And if giving names to things truly does give one power over it, I’ll be running this place before summer is over!